Posted tagged ‘Friend’

Dear, Most Awesome Chicago Police Officer

January 24, 2009

The time was around midnight this past Thursday night and I was on my way to a friend’s house in the city.

We had trekked onward from our stronghold in the suburbs and progressed both with mindfulness of the law and speed limit as well as an ill placed aggression that is the norm with Chicago drivers.

As the density of police officers grew steadily while the number of country clubs dwindled, we knew we were getting closer and awaited the dread that is motoring in traffic under the watchful gaze of the surveillance cameras in Chicago that come equipped with a perfectly chilling pulsating blue light, there just to remind you that you are indeed being monitored.

My Day With Dipping Tobacco: Not A Good Idea

November 19, 2008

I have used dip twice in my life and this is the story of the first; it will make you realize I am an idiot for doing it another time.

Dip, not to be confused with chewing tobacco, is a nasty looking mass of tobacco and nicotine delivery systems (read: broken glass) packed inside a container the size of a tuna can. It carries a rather pleasant aroma that reminds one of candy, as if the tobacco industry needed any more reason to be accused of attracting more customers. The method of using dip is to take a pinch of the mass and place it between your bottom lip and teeth while sucking said mass of tobacco and spitting out the black juice produced. Remember, I did this twice. (more…)

Cannabis Etiquette: Smoking With Friends

March 27, 2008

This isn’t to incite young people to start ingesting any substance other than food or the yummy purple medicine your mommy gives you when you have a cough.

Please be intelligent when using any intoxicating substance, and don’t drive. I tend to kill those that are DUI. Cannabis and other substances which affect one’s ability to think and act should only be used by those who are mature enough to understand the consequences and are able to use the substance safely.

So without further ado, here’s a guide to being a more sociable toker with your buddies: