Dear, Most Awesome Chicago Police Officer

Posted January 24, 2009 by Thy Monarch
Categories: Law, Society

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The time was around midnight this past Thursday night and I was on my way to a friend’s house in the city.

We had trekked onward from our stronghold in the suburbs and progressed both with mindfulness of the law and speed limit as well as an ill placed aggression that is the norm with Chicago drivers.

As the density of police officers grew steadily while the number of country clubs dwindled, we knew we were getting closer and awaited the dread that is motoring in traffic under the watchful gaze of the surveillance cameras in Chicago that come equipped with a perfectly chilling pulsating blue light, there just to remind you that you are indeed being monitored.
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Mentality Of A Virgin Giving Birth

Posted January 21, 2009 by Thy Monarch
Categories: Family/Friend, Religion, Society

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Mary, the mother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, was said to have given birth to the one and only begotten son of God as a virgin.

Mary, though a wife to Joseph at the time of the birth of Jesus, must have considered her newborn with a much different perspective than mothers who must first have sex to become pregnant.

The content Mary carried in her womb, as told to her by the angel Gabriel, was to be the light of the world and salvation for the sinful and faithless. The mother of this great individual to come couldn’t have been older than 18, an age younger than that of the author of this post. Though the cultures were surely different, regardless of the era, early motherhood is never a walk in the park.

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My Day With Dipping Tobacco: Not A Good Idea

Posted November 19, 2008 by Thy Monarch
Categories: Drugs, Family/Friend, Society

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I have used dip twice in my life and this is the story of the first; it will make you realize I am an idiot for doing it another time.

Dip, not to be confused with chewing tobacco, is a nasty looking mass of tobacco and nicotine delivery systems (read: broken glass) packed inside a container the size of a tuna can. It carries a rather pleasant aroma that reminds one of candy, as if the tobacco industry needed any more reason to be accused of attracting more customers. The method of using dip is to take a pinch of the mass and place it between your bottom lip and teeth while sucking said mass of tobacco and spitting out the black juice produced. Remember, I did this twice. Read the rest of this post »

Cannabis Etiquette: Smoking With Friends

Posted March 27, 2008 by Thy Monarch
Categories: Drugs, Flora/Fauna, Guides, Society

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This isn’t to incite young people to start ingesting any substance other than food or the yummy purple medicine your mommy gives you when you have a cough.

Please be intelligent when using any intoxicating substance, and don’t drive. I tend to kill those that are DUI. Cannabis and other substances which affect one’s ability to think and act should only be used by those who are mature enough to understand the consequences and are able to use the substance safely.

So without further ado, here’s a guide to being a more sociable toker with your buddies:

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You Don’t Know Love Until You’ve Owned A Rabbit

Posted March 27, 2008 by Thy Monarch
Categories: Flora/Fauna, Pets

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Ya see, I’ve got this rabbit and her name’s Angie, short for Angel (an 8 year old girl named her, not me).

We bought the little rascal on a humid ass, cloudy day in summer on a whim. That morning my mom left to hang out with some of her friends for the day leaving my father, sister, and I to fend for ourselves. She called to let me know she wouldn’t be home for lunch because she was doing some crap I had absolutely no interest in and made sure she knew this; she called me a turd. I aptly hung up the phone after a few quick, but sincere, I love you’s and bounded along to let father dearest and sister-o-mine know the news. My tummy growled angrily at me and I knew it would be time soon for some delicious Chicken Fries from the delicatessen, Burger King.

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Letter To Senator Chuck Hagel

Posted March 27, 2008 by Thy Monarch
Categories: Politics, Society

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Sir, please don’t retire from the Senate, you’re one of the few Republicans left on The Hill.

I’m a 19 year old registered Republican and have spoken with friends on whom we feel truly represent what our party is supposed to stand for, and your name comes up regularly amongst the ranks of Mr. Goldwater and Dr. Paul.

I’ve read speeches you’ve made as well as searched your name earlier today on Wikipedia after viewing you on CNN speaking candidly on the state of the union.

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